Conversation With
by glasswrks
Summary: First of a six story arc. Takes place after the sixth season
1. Conversation With Dawn

**"A Conversation With... Dawn."**

By A.M. Glass

**Copyright:** May 28th, 2002

**Revised:** June 19, 2002.

**Spoilers:** "The Body", "Seeing Red" and "The Gift."

**Rating:** PG

**Disclaimer:** Joss Whedon, Fox Studios, Mutant Enemy, et al, have something to do with "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and cannot be used without expressed permission first.

**Author's Note: **This is the beginning of a small series of stories that decided they needed to be written. I've already sent the second one to my beta reader and am almost finished with the third. There will be a total of six stories altogether. I hope you'll like them.

**Thanks:** To Stacey for the beta.

* * *

"I need you to look up." Seeing no reaction, she tried again. "Please? I know you can. Come on. It's not that hard, all you need to do is think, _'I must move my head up.'_

"No," came the whispered reply.

"Why not?"

"You're not here. I'm only hearing voices."

She turned her head as she heard laughter filling the room. Laughter she thought she'd never hear again.

"Dawn, it's okay."

"How can it be? Y…you're dead!" she said angrily.

"That's very true. However, you know I didn't want to leave. Don't you?"

"But…" Dawn began as tears cascaded down her face.

* * *

_She had come home from school and trudged upstairs, purposely avoiding looking at the door that once led to her mother's bedroom._

Which had become Willow and Tara's room after Buffy died.

She shook her head; she wasn't going to think about that time.

That was in the past, where it belonged.

Sighing, she went into her bedroom and put her books down. Walking over to the bed, Dawn sat down. She wasn't going to lie down, because if she did, she might fall asleep.

Which was something she didn't want to do.

Not that she would tell Buffy.

No.

Not a good idea, not after all that had happened.

She didn't want to give her sister something else to deal with. Her hands were full with trying to help Willow.

She suddenly found herself smiling.

She couldn't help it.

Her thoughts went to one of her most precious memories in recent times.

When she had stepped out of her room and started talking to Willow about Buffy.

Her smile grew wider.

Her entire world had focused down to one thing.

Seeing Tara coming out of their room wrapped in nothing but the bedspread.

She couldn't contain her happiness.

Or, the smugness of knowing that she had the inside scoop.

She'd known before her sister that Willow and Tara were back together.

* * *

"But what?"

Brought back to the present, Dawn answered simply frantically, "You died. I watched as they put you in the ground."

"That's true sweetie. And what's done, can't be undone." Dawn felt herself being wrapped in an embrace. "But Dawn, I will always be here for you. Always. Whenever you need to talk."

"How… why are you here?" "Simple Dawnie. Love. I could hear you, you needed me and here I am."

"I've missed you, Tara. I've missed you so much," the teenager replied as she returned the hug.

"I miss you too. All of you."

"Tara," Dawn said softly.

"Hmm?"

"Promise… promise you won't tell Buffy this."

"What is it?"

Breathing deeply, Dawn voiced something she could _never_ tell Buffy, **ever**. "I'm glad," She took a deep breath before continuing, "I'm glad Willow killed Warren," she said, feeling a weight being lifted from her soul. She knew she shouldn't feel that way but she couldn't stop it, nor would she try.

"I w-won't tell her."

"Thanks," Dawn said.

"I won't say anything Dawn, but you know Willow shouldn't have done it."

"How can you say that?!" Dawn asked as she pulled away.

"Will was…Willow was in a very bad place. She still is," Tara began. "Dawnie, Willow **can't** come back from this the same. She's _not_ Buffy. She didn't kill a daemon, or a vampire," she looked into Dawn's face, "She killed a _human_ being."

"He wasn't," Dawn said angrily as she shook her head. "He was a stupid asshole who got what he deserved!!"

Tara reached out and moved a loose strand of hair and pushed it behind Dawn's ear. "I probably won't be able to change your mind about this, will I?" she asked, pretending she hadn't heard the teenager swear.

"No."

"I didn't think so," she said, before glancing at the window. "Dawn, I have to go."

"But you just got here," she cried out, pulling out of the embrace. She began panicking at the thought of Tara leaving her once again.

"I'll be back, I promise. I have a few things I need to take care of, but I will be back," Tara said, stressing her point by holding Dawn's hands tightly.

Dawn looked into Tara's face and saw the truth, the blonde Wiccan would come back to her. 

"Tara."

"Yes, Dawnie."

"Would you… would you hold me? Until you go?" she asked, hoping she hadn't sounded like a baby.

Beaming a smile in her direction, Tara answered, "Of course I will."

Dawn once again felt arms surrounding her in a warm embrace, the touch of a hand caressing her head. She also felt something she never thought she would feel again…

She felt safe.

Safe enough to let her eyes close.

Safe enough to sleep…

Safe enough to whisper the words she wished she could have said sooner...

"I love you, Tara," she mumbled, as she drifted into sleep.

"I love you too, Dawnie," Tara replied pressing a kiss on top of Dawn's head, "I love you, too."

The End.


	2. Conversation With Anya

**"Conversation With... Anya."**

By A.M. Glass

**Copyright:** May 31st, 2002.

**Disclaimer:** Joss Whedon, Fox Studios, Mutant Enemy, et al, have something to do with _"Buffy The Vampire Slayer"_. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and can not be used without expressed permission first.

**Spoilers:** _"Tough Love", "Bargaining, part 2", Older and Far Away", "Hells' Bells"_ and _"Seeing Red."_

**Author's Note:** This story takes place immediately after _"A Conversation With... Dawn"_.

**Thanks: To Stacey for the beta.**

* * *

After ensuring that Dawn was sleeping peacefully, Tara left the teenager and went across town...

To the Magic Box...

Or rather what was left of it.

"Oh, Will," she said aloud as she stepped over the rubble that had yet to be cleared. It felt odd to her, having to step over things.

She had no form, no body to speak of, yet she felt as if she were treading carefully around the ruins.

It had taken intense concentration on her part to allow Dawn to not only see her, but to be able to gather the teenager into her arms.

She stopped...

And watched as Anya picked up a book, blew the dust off it and placed it amongst the others she had apparently saved from Willow's wrath.

"How long are you going to hover before you say anything," Anya asked without looking up.

"I... I didn't want to bother you," Tara replied. She knew Anya would be able to sense her presence.

She knew this as surely as she knew that Anya was once again a vengeance demon. Focusing, she managed to take on a gossamer appearance. It was the best she could do at the moment.

"You were never a bother, Tara," she replied as she looked up. "Well... there was that time when you got your brain sucked, but that wasn't your fault," Anya paused, "Actually, that _was_ your fault, but we all knew why it happened. Other than that, nope, not a bother."

Tara felt herself smiling briefly before a frown covered her face, "Sh-she didn't hurt you too much, did she?"

Anya put down the book she had been holding and stared at the ghostly form of someone she _truly_ liked.

Someone who _hadn't_ tried to change her into something she wasn't.

Anya had even put the incident at Buffy's birthday party behind them. She understood why Tara had stuck up for Willow the way she had.

She was protecting the person she loved.

The one person she would have done anything for.

Heck, Tara had even _killed_ for Willow...

**Granted**, it was a demon.

But, nevertheless, _she_ killed.

Now **that's** love.

"If I wasn't a vengeance demon... maybe... but..."

"Anya, don't make excuses for her."

"I'm not," she huffed. "Willow is the _last_ person I would make an excuse for," she said pausing, as she saw a flicker of pain cross Tara's features. "I... I wanted to help her you know," she said softly, as she absentmindedly folded her arms over her chest and hugged herself. "She..." Anya hesitated, "I've never felt so much pain before. Never. Not even with what Xander **did** to me. It didn't compare, it couldn't."

"I knew," Tara said quietly.

"Did you?" Anya asked as she stepped closer.

"I could feel it... and there was nothing I could do about it. Now... I'm not sure if my presence here is going to help her or hurt her even more," she said voicing her fear.

"She's a walking mess," Anya stated.

Tara could only nod.

She could not voice the anguish she felt there were simply no words.

"Are you going to see her?" Anya asked.

"Not yet, but soon. There are a few..."

"NO. You'd better not tell me. I doubt I'm part of the gang," she said stressing the word: _gang_, with quotation marks, "...anymore."

"Anya..." Tara said as she moved closer to the other woman. "You'll always be a part of the gang." With that she held out her hand and said, "You wanna thumb wrestle?"

Looking at the extended hand, she hesitated for a moment, before reaching out and sliding her hand into Tara's. She felt a tingle as a sense of peace wash over her.

The ache she felt was still there, only now, it was bearable.

She glanced into Tara's face and settled on her eyes. The way they crinkled when she smiled, as she was doing, Anya couldn't help but return the smile.

"Two… two out of three?" she asked as her voice caught.

Tara nodded, her face suddenly serious. "Ready?"

"Yes… I'm good." Anya nodded, answering more than one question.

"Go."

The End.


	3. Conversation With Xander

**"Conversation With... Xander." **

By A.M. Glass

**Rating:** PG

**Copyright:** June 14th-29th, 2002

**Disclaimer:** Joss Whedon, Fox Studios, Mutant Enemy, et al, have something to do with _"Buffy the Vampire Slayer"_. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and cannot be used without expressed permission first.

**Spoilers:** "The Body", "Seeing Red", "Villains" and "Grave."

**Author's Note:** This is the third in the on going series, "Conversation With..." the first being with Dawn, then Anya.

**Thanks:** To Stacey, once again for all her insights and comments have made this a better story. Beta readers... gotta love 'em.

* * *

To Tara, it seemed like only moments had passed since she had visited Anya. But weeks had passed since she left her friend and went to visit Xander.

He was tossing and turning in his sleep, muttering things she couldn't make out.

She winced when she saw the scars on his torso that were beginning to fade.

Reaching out, she place he hand on his forehead, calming him.

"Xander... wake up," she called out softly.

"I'm sleepin'... go away."

Smiling, Tara sat down on the side of the bed, "This **is** a part of your dream... so... wake up... doofus." She hoped he wouldn't mind what she had called him, for some reason, it felt right.

He slowly opened his eyes, taking in Tara's appearance, "Yeah... I'm dreaming," he muttered to himself before throwing his arm over his eyes. "If I'm dreaming... where's Will?"

"She's not in this dream, Xander."

"Huh," he snorted. "I never had one with _just_ you in it."

Tara's eyebrows rose, she didn't want to **think** about the dreams he might have possibly had concerning Willow and herself.

"Anya's not in this one, is she?" he asked as he looked around.

"No... just us."

"This... _this_ isn't a dream is it?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. And right now, I'm wondering why I haven't started screaming at the top of my lungs yet." 

"Maybe 'cause you know I won't hurt you?"

"I might have agreed with you... but," he touched his scar, "I never thought _this_ would happen either," he said as he sat up.

"You can't know how sorry I am that happened... and... I wanted to say, thank you."

Xander looked at her and felt...

Numb.

The same numbness that gripped his heart when he saw here lying there...

He had seen and experienced many things in his short life, some of which he hoped _never_ to experience again.

But, this... _this_ was different.

This was one of _them_.

One of the good guys…

Sure they had lost allies, family members...

He shuddered and subconsciously flexed his hand as he recalled his reaction when Buffy's mother had died suddenly.

That was different.

It had been...peaceful?

What had happened to Tara...

He shook his head.

What had happened was...

Wrong.

_'Is that the best you can do?'_ he asked himself. _'Wrong?'_

He looked and Tara and closed his eyes once again.

He was tired of trying to examine why...

Why he hadn't heard Willow's anguished shouts...

Why he really hadn't given her more than a passing glance when he clearly saw the blood splattered on her shirt.

Why it never sank in...

Why he didn't take a minute to **really** see if Willow had been injured in some way, something that would have explained the blood.

"You have to stop that…"

"Huh… who are you Xena? All with the hearing of my thoughts even though your…" he stopped his ill attempt at humor when he saw her expression. "What?" he asked, his voice heavy with emotion.

"You _can't_ blame yourself for this. You can't. Buffy **needed** you..."

"So did Will," he replied softly.

Tara reached out and grabbed his hand, "If it wasn't for you... she would be lost to me forever."

He snorted, "So... what? This is temporary? You two gonna meet up again?"

Tara looked away.

"That's it isn't it," he felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. "Something's going to happen to Will. Is... is that why you're here?" He pulled his hand away from hers and got out of bed, moving away from her.

"Nn... no."

"You're going to have to go **_through_** me first," he said his hands clenched at his sides. He couldn't believe it.

"Xander..."

"I **won't** let you do it."

**"Xander!!!"**

He flinched.

Tara stood up and walked over towards him, instantly regretting how he felt the need to take a step back.

"This isn't... I _didn't_ come back to take Willow. You have to believe me."

"Why? Why should I?"

Tara didn't think it would be this difficult. She had simply wanted to thank him for being the only person that could reach Willow.

The only one that could start the healing process...

The one person who may love Willow as much as she did.

"I... I want to show you what you've given me," she said stepping closer, "Please don't be afraid."

He gasped out loud when he felt Tara's hand on his chest, resting above his heart.

He reached out, trying to keep from falling under the onslaught, finding nothing to hold onto, his sank to his knees.

His mind and body were being flooded with memories...

Feelings...

Different images played in his head...

He could almost reach out and grab each emotion that Tara shared with him.

The love she and Willow shared.

The depth frightened him...

How had _they_ survived being apart all those months...

He opened his eyes and felt tears cascading down his face.

"Oh... God," were the only words he could form.

Tara removed her hand and stepped away. "Do you understand?"

He nodded, unable to keep the tears from falling. "How... how is she gonna survive this?" he whimpered.

He felt as if his world had collapsed.

He thought he could imagine what it must have felt like for Willow.

The utter emptiness he was sure had been left in the wake of Tara's sudden death.

He couldn't have been further away from the truth if he'd tried.

He wanted to crawl under the nearest rock and die.

If what Tara had showed him was indeed what she and Willow experienced...

He hated to think it...

But, perhaps Warren got off easy.

"That isn't why I showed you..."

He nodded, "Wh-what can I do?" he wiped the tears away.

"She's... she's going to need you... more than ever. She may not admit it, she may even push you away, but you can't let her."

"I won't let her down," he said as he stood slowly. "I won't let **you** down... I promise."

"I... I need to ask you for something."

"Name it."

"You may reconsider after I tell you..."

"Again with the name it."

"I need to whisper it, okay?"

"Do what you have to."

Tara walked to him and spoke in his ear, not seeing his eyebrows rise slightly.

"Thank you again, Xander, you're a good man," Tara said before placing a tiny kiss on his cheek.

He blinked, "Tara?"

He looked around.

She was gone.

He raised his hand to his cheek rubbing the spot he had felt her kiss.

Looking at his alarm clock, he noticed that it was far too early to go to Buffy's house. Walking back to his bed, he slipped underneath the covers. He stared at the ceiling, all the while pondering what Tara had requested.

He smiled.

The sensations, memories...

They were slowly starting to fade, but in his mind's eye, he could hear Tara's voice as clear as day.

One word.

That's all she wanted him to tell Willow.

A single phrase.

As he closed his eyes, he wondered how he was going to tell Willow...

_Vixen_. 

The End.


	4. Conversation With Giles

**"Conversation With... Giles." **

By A.M. Glass

**Copyright:** June 30th-July 7th 2002

**Revised:** July 14th, 2002.

**Rating:** PG

**Spoilers:** For the following episodes, _Family, The Gift, Seeing Red, Villains, Grave._

**Disclaimer:** Joss Whedon, Fox Studios, Mutant Enemy, et al, have something to do with _"Buffy The Vampire Slayer"_. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and cannot be used without expressed permission first.

**Author's Note:** This is the fourth part in the "Conversation With..." series. The first being Dawn, followed by Anya, then Xander. You don't need to read the others, but it would be helpful as I touch upon them in one way or another. I'm really hoping to stay true to the characters, but sometimes, you've got to do things you _think_ he or she either might do or say.

**Thanks To:** Amanda, for beta'ing this for me.

* * *

"Are you positive it was her? Yes... yes, I see. She's seen Anya and Dawn? And what about Buffy? Really? And Willow? Interesting. Yes... I'll let you know if anything happens. Thank you for calling Xander, good-bye," Giles said as he hung up. _'Incredible.'_

Walking over to the small table the hotel provided in its rooms, he sat down and began to jot down what Xander had told him.

Taking his glasses off he rubbed at his eyes, as he tapped his pen against his lip he shuddered as the room became perceptively colder.

He had read too many papers on the occult **not** to recognize a sign of a ghostly presence: the sudden change in temperature.

Turning in his seat, he looked around the suite he'd checked into while he was staying in Sunnydale. His apartment had been leased out, and he didn't think staying with Xander or bunking at Buffy's house was an option.

"Tara?"

"Hi," she answered with a slight wave, a smile gracing her face as she materialized. "I'm... I'm sorry about the chill," she said, "I'm still kinda new at this."

"Dear lord... it _is_ you."

"Are... is it okay? That I'm here?" 

Putting his glasses back on, he stayed seated, unsure if his legs would continue to support him. "In... in general? Or right now?"

Tara frowned, _'This was a mistake,'_ she thought sadly. "I... I should go..."

"NO!! WAIT!!" he stood up reaching out to her, "Please," he said, gentling his voice, "I'm sorry... can you sit?"

Giles watched as Tara's appearance became more solidified. She pulled out the other chair and sat across from him.

"Was it Dawn?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did Dawn tell you?"

"Xander."

Tara nodded.

"Well... yes..."

"Is there anything you want to ask me? I mean... you know... scholarly-like?" she asked.

His eyebrows rose as the implication sunk in.

All the questions that burned in his mind:

_What was it like? How long could she maintain her present form? Did she get hungry?_

His mouth watered at the thought.

Tara smiled as she watched him, his eyes darting back and forth, as if wondering which question to ask first...

However, she _wasn't_ prepared for his first question:

"How are you?"

"Wh-what?" She hadn't heard him right.

"Are you alright?"

"I... uh... I wasn't expecting that."

"Oh... I see... I think."

"I'm... _okay_, I guess," she answered shrugging her shoulders.

"You're not in **any** pain, are you?"

"No, not really."

"Is there anything I can do? Anyway of bringing you..." he faltered.

"Back?"

Giles nodded as he ran his fingers through his hair, "I don't believe I asked that," he said more to himself than to Tara.

"It's okay. It's probably something I would have asked."

"Indeed. Is there something wrong?" he asked seeing a frown covering her face.

"I'm hoping you'll forgive Willow... for what she did. Nn-not only to you... but the store."

"Tara," he sighed deeply. "Tara... I'd like to say that everything will be alright, that we'll put this behind us and carry on as usual. However, I think we both know that's not possible. As much as we would like to believe that Willow will be the same, she won't. She's killed..."

"So have you."

The room was silent.

"We are **not** speaking about me..."

"But, you don't deny it..."

"No. I did what **I** thought was best. And that's all I'll say on the subject."

"I think that's all Willow was doing," Tara tried to explain. "For her, _killing_ Warren and going after the others was **for** the best."

"Are you **condoning** what she did?" he asks incredulously.

"OF COURSE NOT!!!" Tara stood up from the table and began pacing. "She did it because _of_ me. Her grief ate at her and it's **my** fault."

"Tara..."

"She _hurt_ all of you, because of _me_."

Whatever retort Giles may have had flew by the wayside.

She was right.

Willow _had_ done everything because of her love for Tara.

Had it been **anyone** else, regardless of Willow's relationship with them, Tara's presence would have kept her grounded. It would have been difficult, but it would have never escalated as quickly as it apparently did.

"I wish I could say: _no, it wasn't_. But I can't," he admitted.

"I know and I can't stand it Giles... and..."

"Yes?"

"Giles..." she looked at him, tears streaming down her face, "Goddess help me..."

"Tara... what is it?" he asked as he stood up.

Looking at him through hot tears, panting, trying to get the words out, trying to say something she could not believe she ever thought.

"There's... there's a part... a part of me Giles... one... that..." another breath, hoping her throat would not close on her. She could feel it slowly constricting, as if it didn't want the words out in the open. _'I can do this,'_ she kept telling herself over and over again.

"There's a part of you that's glad."

Tara's gaze locked onto Giles.

"A part of you that you never realized existed? One that goes against _everything_ you've ever believed in. How it tears at you like nothing else could. And... and you can't fathom how this could be. How you could feel the slightest satisfaction at someone's death..."

"How?"

He bowed his head, "I truly and utterly regret that I can say that I have lived longer than you," he took off his glasses and looked up, his eyes bright with unshed tears. "I may not be proud of everything I've ever done Tara, however, even I know how you feel. The circumstances in no way reflect what happened to you and Willow..."

"But you know."

"I know."

"What do I do?" she asked.

Putting his glasses back on, Giles walked towards her, reaching out, he took her hands in his. "You forgive yourself," he paused long enough to raise his hand, forestalling Tara. "You _learn_ to forgive yourself and move on. You can't change it, you'll only run into a brick wall every time," he whispered, "You can't wave your arm and say a few words and expect to find everything the way it was. If that **were** the case, you, dear child would **not** be here. You would be with Willow... doing God knows what," he finished smiling slightly.

Taking his words to heart, Tara squeezed his hands "I don't want to have to see you for a very _long_time," she told him.

"I'll... I'll do my best," he promised weakly.

"Giles..."

"Yes Tara?"

"I... I'm really glad we met."

Smiling genuinely, he replied, "As am I Tara. As am I."

"I've got to go..."

"Of course."

He let go and stepped back and watched as she faded away.

He stared at the spot for a moment or two before turning around and returning to the desk. As he reached the chair, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He spun around quickly and found himself enveloped by Tara's arms.

"I... I couldn't go without telling you thanks. Not... not for being there for Willow, because I know you will be. No, this is from me, for sticking up for me when you didn't have to," she told him.

Knowing exactly what she meant, he returned the hug, the tears he'd held inside finally finding their way out. "I could not do any less for my own children... if I had any."

Releasing her hold on him, she pulled back and smiled.

She waved as she left once again.

Giles felt his breath leave him as he heard one last thing:

"Bye... Daddy."

The End.

Feel free to leave a comment on this story on my guest book.


	5. Conversation With Buffy

**"Conversation With... Buffy" **

By A.M. Glass

**Copyright:** July 7th-25th, 2002

**Revised:** July 27, 2002

**Spoilers:** _"Spiral", "The Weight Of The World", "The Gift", "Tabula Rasa", "Older and Far Away", "Dead Things", "Seeing Red", "Two To Go",_ and _"Grave."_ **Disclaimer:** Joss Whedon, Fox Studios, Mutant Enemy, et al, have something to do with _"Buffy The Vampire Slayer"._ No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and can not be used without expressed permission first.

**Author's Note:** This is the fifth of six parks in the "Conversation..." series. The first being Dawn, followed by Anya, Xander, and Giles. I honestly hope this story is good. I'm not really _happy_ with it. I don't think I can write Buffy as well as I can say, Willow or Tara. Any mistakes are mine and mine alone.

**Thanks:** Once again to Amanda for the beta and the suggestions that I took whole-heartedly.

* * *

Buffy didn't notice the birds chirping in the air.

Or the pleasant breeze that caressed her face, gently brushing her hair back, before falling into place.

She didn't notice the families laughing and playing in the park.

She didn't notice any of these things or the dozens more as she walked along the path with Giles.

All she focused on were his words.

And the bombshell he'd dropped.

"So, what do you think is going on?" she asked during a slight pause in the conversation.

"Well, from what I can gather, considering what Anya, Xander and Dawn have told me, she seems to be providing some form of comfort for everyone..."

"**Not** everyone," she interrupted, looking at him as they stopped. "She hasn't **seen** Will yet," she stressed. _'Or me,'_ she added silently.

"That doesn't mean she won't," he countered as he began walking again. "I'm sure she'll visit Willow shortly."

"So... umm... how is she?" 

Giles stopped once again. "She's fine," he answered, shrugging his shoulders. He honestly had no idea. For although Tara had told him that she was fine, he hadn't pressed her for any more information.

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Things," he answered vaguely as he began to walk down the path once more.

"Things?"

"They... they were personal..."

"Oh."

They walked along quietly, neither of them certain of what to say to each other.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"You... you do know I love you. Don't you?" he asked softly. He had done some soul searching after Tara had left him and he realized that he could no longer hide behind his stoic English upbringing. That he **had** to make sure that those he loved, cared for, _knew_ it.

He would never forgive himself if he let the opportunity pass him by.

Tara's untimely death opened his eyes, unlike anything else.

Including Buffy's death.

He had compensated and buried his feelings for the others deeper, not allowing himself to find solace in the arms of _his_ family.

Buffy had heard his comment and for a split second thought about joking around, doing something to break the intensity of the moment. Of how he looked at her completely open with his feelings.

"Yeah... I do," she told him. "And for what it's worth... I... I love you too."

He smiled.

"I think this calls for a hug."

"Tara?" Buffy said, turning in the direction of the voice.

"Hello again Tara."

She walked over to the ex-Watcher and gave him a hug. "Hi Dad," she replied, kissing his cheek as she stepped out of the embrace. Her face lit up as she saw his eyebrows rise. _'Didn't expect that huh?'_ she thought happily. "Hi Buffy."

Giles never dared to dream that he would hear those words coming from her ever again. He was sure that it was just her way of expressing her gratitude.

How wrong he was.

And _how_ little he knew her.

He sighed inwardly. He never had the chance to know the young woman standing next to him.

And that was something he'd have to live with.

_'Dad?'_ Buffy wondered as she heard the whispered endearment.

"I... I think this is my cue to go visit Dawn," he stammered, blushing furiously. Buffy was caught off guard as he gave her a quick hug. "I'll see you soon," he told her as he left.

"That was..."

"Different?" Tara ventured as she watched Giles walking down one of the many pathways that cut through the park.

"Yeah."

"Do you... do you wanna keep walking? It's a really nice day," Tara asked looking around the park, seeing families taking advantage of the daylight.

"Umm... sure."

"Great," she answered smiling. "I find that I miss going out for walks," she said as she continued in the same direction Giles and Buffy had been going. "Willow and I... we... we used to go out. Not too much after dark, not unless there was Scooby-age afoot, but generally speaking, we'd go in the mornings... or the afternoons... _after_ classes," she turned to Buffy wanting to get her point across. "Will wouldn't... she never missed a class," she paused. "And... I'm babbling aren't I?"

"A little, but it's okay."

"Thanks."

"Why haven't you gone to see Will yet?"

"Don't pull any punches do you?"

"Not when it comes to my friends, especially Willow."

"I had to see everyone else first."

"Why?" She hadn't had the chance to ask Giles the very same question and as long as Tara was here...

"If I had gone to see her first... I wouldn't have been allowed to see anyone else. Not Dawnie, Anya, Xander... anyone. I wouldn't be speaking to you right now."

"Why the hell not!!"

"Don't you understand Buffy... I'm **not** supposed to be here. I should be waiting for her," she said. "If I had only seen and spoken with Willow... if I had interacted with her in _any_ way without contacting everyone else first, what would you think? What would you honestly think? What would you say if she came to you and said she had spoken to me... held me. You'd all think she's crazy, no matter how much you wanted what she said to be true. I would never have been able to prove that what she told you... experienced… was the truth. And eventually she'd start to believe that it was all in her head," Tara tried to explain. "I couldn't let her think she was going insane... I love her."

Buffy acknowledged that Tara's words had struck a chord. It was quite possible that they would think that Willow had gone off the deep end. That her grief had shattered the precious hold on sanity Willow valiantly strove to hold on to.

"Fine. But, why are you here? Why me? Why aren't you with her right now?"

"I _am_ with her. I'm **always** with her. She just can't feel me. She's so lost. It's hard for her to think about me... us, without feeling lost."

"Lost?"

"Willow... she... she told me, what happened to you, when Glory took Dawn..."

Buffy recalled vividly being _lost_ in her own mind. Thinking that she had allowed Glory to take Dawn away.

How Willow had made her face the guilt she felt.

To move beyond that moment...

To getting her sister back...

"She's afraid that if she starts thinking about it, she'll lose herself... and there won't be anyone to find her."

"I didn't know it was that bad," Buffy whispered.

The memory of seeing Xander carrying Willow's limp body up the walkway to her house froze her in her tracks. She had fought her best friend to a stand still.

Both of them battered and bruised.

Yet she still needed to make every attempt to reach out to her.

To somehow break through the fortress Willow had built around her heart.

And she couldn't do it.

She didn't remember hearing Dawn crying out Willow's name, nor seeing the cuts on Xander's body.

The only thing she _could_ remember with absolute clarity was thinking:

_'No... not Willow too.'_

She honestly didn't think she could survive if they had lost Willow.

She would try her best to be there, but Buffy knew that slowly, the will to continue on...

With her duty, not only to humanity, but to Dawn and the others...

Her will to survive...

Would leave her.

Until the night she didn't return from patrol.

She could only hope that they would understand.

And hopefully forgive her.

She knew Xander had paused in front of her, tears steaming down his face, looking at her for answers she didn't have.

Dawn told her later that she had said to take Willow inside.

Everything else had automatically filed itself away, compensating for the shock she was experiencing.

She had to be strong.

She _always_ had to be strong.

"It is. And it will be for a while. She's going to think that she hasn't grieved enough. That by moving on with her life, that she didn't care for me as much as she thought she did. And that will haunt her as much as seeing me shot has. She... she keeps seeing it," Tara told Buffy. "It hasn't stopped, not once. She hasn't said anything but every day since it's happened... it's there. And every day she thinks it's _her_ fault... that if we hadn't broken up... we... we wouldn't have been upstairs when Warren came after you. That I would still be alive if we hadn't… you know..." she said blushing.

Buffy's smile was bittersweet, knowing all too well what Tara was referring to.

To say that both Tara and Willow were affectionate with one another was an understatement of major proportions. It was nothing new to see them holding hands or kissing each other... at least not to Dawn if she'd heard correctly.

Dawn had been surrounded by the love the two Wiccans showed one another, while they took care of her the summer of Buffy's death.

It was a normal every day occurrence...

So when they finally reconciled after all those months of being apart...

It was a given that they would be spending some much needed time to reacquaint themselves. Buffy smiled, thinking back on when Willow stated that she and Tara would stop the rather cute display of kissage in front of them, as she heard Dawn's voice echoing in her head:

_'Oh you'd better not!'_

"But, I'm as much to blame for being upstairs as she is. I... I don't know if you noticed... but I... I always found a way to touch Willow."

"No. Really?" Buffy replied straight-faced, until she saw the look of utter shock appear on Tara's face. She reached out and placed her hand on Tara's arm. "We... well, Dawn and I understood... and we were _both_ really happy to see you two back together again."

"Buffy, I need **her** to understand. I don't want her thinking that because of what we'd finished doing... I wanted her as much if not more than she wanted me. I can't bear thinking that she blames herself. If we hadn't made love... if we'd waited a little longer..."

"If anyone can get through to Willow, you can. I know that wasn't true all of the time, but now... you may be the _only_ one. I can never say thank you enough for not only taking care of Dawn or being non-judgmental when I told you about Spike... I can't. I can only hope that you can see what it's meant to me that you were in Willow's life. I might not have been "supportive-gal" at first, but I know now... there is **no one** who loves Will more than you. No one. And... and... I'm soo sorry you're not here."

"Not as much as I am."

Buffy stared at Tara, had she heard her right? "Did you just make a joke?"

"I... umm... I think so? Way too intense moment there for a second... is something wrong?"

"You **made** a joke?"

"I'm... I'm sorry. I just thought, you know..."

"Tara," Buffy interrupted.

"Yes," she replied, her head hanging down. When would she learn? No one ever seemed to get her humor-except Willow-then again, Tara imagined that even Willow hadn't truly understood them all the time.

"Hey... don't hide, please..."

"Stupid," she muttered softly.

"HEY!! You are **not** stupid," Buffy told her. "I just wanted to say, I got it."

"What?"

Buffy began to smile at the other blonde. "I _got_ it," she stressed.

"You..."

"Me," she said nodding.

They were smiling as they continued to walk.

"You're not just saying that..."

"Nope."

When they arrived at a cross roads, they stopped.

Buffy instinctively knew that her time with Tara was coming to an end.

"This is it huh?"

"Yes. It is."

"Take care of her."

"I was going to say the same thing," Tara replied.

"We never were very close, were we?" Buffy asked.

"No. But, I totally understood. What with the slaying and all, we were getting there... I think."

"Oh yeah... with Spike and everything..."

"Yeah... Spike..."

"So, do we just say good-bye or something?" Buffy asked keeping her attention focused anywhere else except on Tara.

"I guess... if... if you'd like."

"Tara..."

"Yes Buffy."

Sighing deeply, she said, "I'm not sure..." she faltered.

"Of what?" Tara asked stepping closer.

"I have this overwhelming urge right now, and I'm not sure how to ask..."

"Just ask. Whatever it is, it'll stay between us, I promise," she said solemnly.

"Dawn... she's always saying... you know... how great you were with her. And I know I can never replace Mom or you..."

"She loves you Buffy," Tara replied, wondering about the sudden change in subject.

"I know. It's just, she tells me that the one thing she misses-besides you-is..."

"Go on, it's okay."

"Shereallymissesyourhugs," Buffy said quickly. "She'd... she'd say that _your_ hugs were so... awesome... so loving and understanding. How she knew that even if things were bad, she knew that she was loved. That **you** loved her..." Buffy thought back to the brief hug they shared on her birthday. And how she felt better simply by Tara's presence at the party.

"You want me to hug Dawn?" Tara asked. She had an idea of what Buffy was trying to request, however she knew that Buffy would have to ask for it.

"Huh? Oh... no. Not that that wouldn't be nice and stuff..."

"Buffy, what do _you_ want?"

_'You're the Slayer dammit! You don't need a hug. Just say good-bye and head back to the house or go out and slay something,'_ Buffy told herself. Her mind set for action she opened her mouth: "Could I please have a hug?"

"I wasn't sure if you were going to ask or not," Tara replied as she opened her arms and took Buffy into them. She focused all the love and affection she felt for Buffy and sent it back to her. She held tight as Buffy's legs began to weaken. "We _all_ love you Buffy," she said as she continued to hold on.

Buffy was aware peripherally that she should be the one saying something...

Letting Tara know that she was loved and missed...

Truly and sorely missed.

Yet, here she was, reveling in the bliss that was Tara's devotion to the people she loved.

**Her** family.

Buffy held on tight.

Desperate to keep this part of her family with her, where she belonged.

"Are you going to be all right?" Tara asked as she slowly walked them over to a nearby bench.

"I'll be fine," Buffy replied haltingly as she sat down.

Tara took a seat next to Buffy and giving into the impulse, reached out and took her hand.

"Are you going to see Will?" Buffy asked.

"Not today, but very soon," Tara whispered.

"Okay," she nodded. "Tara... I don't think I could stand to see you leave, so... if you don't mind, I'm going to go."

"I understand. I'll stay right here."

"Thanks."

Giving Tara's hand a brief squeeze, Buffy stood up and began to walk away.

Her chest started to ache as Tara's fingers slipped through her grasp.

She kept walking...

Until she started to run...

Tara didn't try to stop the tears that fell down her face.

She wished that she had more time.

Looking into the sky, she watched as the sun began its descent...

Before slipping away.

* * *

Buffy cried all the way home.

She slammed the door shut after entering the house.

"DAWN!!! Giles!!!"

"What's wrong?"

"Has something happened?" Giles asked as he and Dawn hurried from the living room to the hall after hearing the door slamming closed.

Before either of them knew it, they were caught in a bone-crushing hug.

"I love you guys..."

"Ewwww..."

"Buffy... what's wrong?"

"Nothing... I just wanted you to know..."

"I take it Tara has gone once more?"

Buffy simply nodded as held on.

As soon as Giles mentioned Tara's name, Buffy's weirdness made sense.

Dawn knew, or at least could guess at, what Buffy was experiencing at the moment.

And with a maturity that contradicted her normal every day behavior where her sister was involved, Dawn hugged Buffy back.

"I love you too, Buffy."

Giles would not impose on this moment. He and Buffy would speak later in the evening. When things had calmed down somewhat.

Gathering his girls together, he simply whispered, "Thank you Tara."

The End.

Feel free to leave a comment on this story on my guest book.


	6. Conversation With Willow

Title: "Conversation With... Willow."  
  
Author: A.M. Glass  
  
E-Mail: glasswrks@yahoo.com  
  
Copyright: April 15th -25th, 2003.  
  
Revised: April 27, 2003  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Various episodes from the fourth season on.  
  
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Fox Studios, Mutant Enemy, et al, have something to do with "Buffy The Vampire Slayer". No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and cannot be used without expressed permission first.  
  
Author's Note: This is the sixth? of six parts in the "Conversation..." series. The first being Dawn, followed by Anya, Xander, Giles and Buffy. It's very important that you read the others first, as I mention certain incidents that take place in them. This is a somewhat angst-filled story.  
  
2nd Author's Note: This story was not originally meant to be Willow's section of the Conversation series, it was written based around a spoiler I'd read for an upcoming episode. I realized however that it could be substituted for the one I've been writing for almost a year. That story is completely different from the one you're about to read and when I finish it, I will post it on my site. BTW... this starts off a bit differently from the rest of the stories.  
  
Thanks To: Kirk, for not only betaing the story for me, but for all of his insights and words, which have found their way into the story... some more than others.  
  
Feedback: Is up to you.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"Shh... it's fine... go back to sleep," Willow murmured as Kennedy seemed to sense her departure from the bed. Willow smiled briefly as the Potential brought her pillow closer and grunted softly before settling down once more.  
  
Willow left the bedroom - grabbing her robe along the way - and walked downstairs. She paused momentarily as she gazed into the living room - sleeping bags seemed to take up most of the floor - each filled with other potential slayers.  
  
Although Willow knew what she was doing, a passing thought wandered through her mind: 'You don't know when the First is going to strike again. No one knows.' She acknowledged that fact and knew that if the First wanted to, It could cause serious damage before anyone could get to her - if not physically then at least emotionally.  
  
She wasn't foolhardy enough not to take precautions against the normal everyday vampire. 'Should be every night vampire, otherwise they'd go poof.' Willow laughed to herself as she grabbed a crucifix and took it with her as she silently walked through the living room, into the kitchen and out the back door.  
  
Willow wrapped her robe closer against her body as the cool night air pressed down upon her. Making sure she'd closed the door behind her, she walked down the few steps and made her way to the bench.  
  
She absentmindedly took in the beautiful evening - glancing up she spotted the "Big Pineapple" and smiled, no matter how bittersweet the memory it brought was. She sat down, feeling as if her body would no longer support her.  
  
She was tired.  
  
They all were.  
  
And she wasn't sure when things would get back to normal, even if it were Hellmouth normal.  
  
Sitting in the dark, she found herself thinking about Kennedy - which was no surprise. They had taken the next step in their ... relationship? Willow had a feeling that if she'd asked the dark-haired beauty what it was she thought they'd done, one possible answer could have been: Made love.  
  
Willow however couldn't answer that way.  
  
It wasn't as if she didn't feel anything for Kennedy - she did.  
  
But... it wasn't love.  
  
Willow cared a great deal for Kennedy and knew she would be distressed if something were to happen to her.  
  
But, she simply did not feel the same for Kennedy as she did... Tara.  
  
And that's where the difference laid.  
  
If something happened to Kennedy - Willow was absolutely positive that she would not go off the deep end. She'd be able to deal with Kennedy's death in a rational way. She would mourn the loss of someone special, however, she would not want to kill her friends - or attempt to end the world.  
  
Sighing heavily Willow shivered as she looked up to the second story window. Her eyes focused on the windowpane. Then the glass itself. It looked so innocuous. She never would have guessed that it held the power to shatter her world. Her very existence. Her soul.  
  
In her mind it was happening again - the glass shattering. Tara's last words... "Your shirt..."  
  
The blood.  
  
So much blood.  
  
Tears filled her eyes, as the old, familiar panic started to set in. She remembered the meditative techniques the coven had taught her in England and closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she tried to settle herself.  
  
In her mind she heard Tara's voice. It both surprised and comforted her.  
  
'You have to be with the person you lo-love.'  
  
"I can't Baby... you're not here," she whispered into the night air.  
  
"Of course I am."  
  
Willow felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise and trembled in fear.  
  
Her heart was pounding against her ribcage as she leapt to her feet, her eyes scanning the surrounding darkness for a presence.  
  
Apparently the First was making a return appearance, and it was finally doing what it had failed to do originally.  
  
'No, not Tara!' She swore at it in her mind. "Leave her out of this!"  
  
"Willow..."  
  
The redhead's eyes slammed shut. If she didn't look, it couldn't use Tara's face against her. "I won't fall for this! You're not her!"  
  
"I know about what happened with Cassie, and I'm sorry."  
  
Willow faltered slightly. She wanted to look. Had to. "N-No..."  
  
"Sweetie, please. I know this is hard for you, but I need you to believe it's me. Please. I love you, Willow."  
  
Now the redhead did turn. Her eyes were red with tears. "Tara?"  
  
The figure sitting on the bench smiled and waved. "Hi."  
  
"Tara? You... you're old?" she said incredulously.  
  
The look this older version of Tara gave her reminded her of the time she and Xander had made comments about the April-bot. She instantly quashed those memories, not allowing herself to think of April's maker. Tara was still looking at her - her arms crossed, her eyebrows slightly arched.  
  
"Not... not that you aren't beautiful Baby - you are," Willow said truthfully.  
  
Dressed simply in a sundress, her hair tucked behind her ears, Tara was radiant. The years that she would never see - seemed to have been easy on her. When she smiled, Willow could see laugh lines at the corner of her eyes and wondered who or what could have put them there.  
  
"You did."  
  
"Did? Did what?" she asked as she found herself unable to tear her eyes off her soul mate, her mind furiously trying to figure out why her beloved had aged and not being able to come up with an answer.  
  
"The lines," Tara answered as she smiled.  
  
"Lines?" Willow repeated.  
  
"The laugh lines doofus."  
  
"Hey!" Willow replied indignantly when it hit her, "HEY!" She watched as Tara laughed - a sound she had not heard in what seemed an eternity. "How... how did - how do you do that?"  
  
"Years of practice."  
  
"Years? You've only been gone..."  
  
"I know Sweetie... I know," she replied as she sensed the waves of grief rolling off Willow.  
  
"I-I don't understand."  
  
Willow was still trying to wrap her mind around what the others had told her. Buffy and Dawn recounted their meetings with Tara after she overhead them discussing it one night. Soon after she confronted Xander, Giles and Anya as well.  
  
She knew without question after she heard their stories, that it would soon be her turn. So she waited.  
  
Waited for the chance to see her baby again.  
  
To talk to her.  
  
Maybe even hold her.  
  
Her heart soared.  
  
But then the hours turned into days, and the days into weeks. The longer she waited the more she withdrew into herself. Perhaps Tara had changed her mind about seeing her. Or worse, maybe she had gotten in trouble for doing this at all.  
  
Hadn't Buffy explained to her what Tara had said? That she wasn't supposed to have seen... spoken with the others? That she was only meant to see her?  
  
Now, after all that time, here she was. Tara. Her light. Her life. Her love. Only, older.  
  
"Will, do you think you could trust me? Enough to sit by me?" Tara asked as she patted the empty space on the bench.  
  
'If this is the First... it can't touch me,' Willow thought as reason warred against her emotions. There was really no way to verify that this wasn't some elaborate trap - some ruse - to drive her insane. No matter what she felt, she had to protect herself.  
  
"Honey... I know I can't prove who I am, and you have every right to question anything and everything I might say... but please... please give me a chance?"  
  
"STOP doing that!!"  
  
Dipping her head, Tara whispered "Sorry."  
  
Willow took a closer look at the apparition, it, she? was perfect, even if older. "Why don't I just stay here, in this much less confusing and far more safer spot," she replied.  
  
"All right. I'm not going to force you," Tara said as she looked up.  
  
"Good."  
  
"So..."  
  
"Yeah... so," Willow echoed. She couldn't get over the fact - her baby was older, years and years older and yet, she was still breathtakingly beautiful. "What?" she asked as she watched Tara dipping her head.  
  
"Do you really think I'm still beautiful?" she asked softly.  
  
"Of course you are," Willow replied without hesitation only to cringe seconds later. She hadn't meant to say anything. Hadn't meant to react as if this thing were Tara. But she couldn't help herself. Her heart demanded that she respond in such a manner as to allay her baby's doubts. "Well... wh-what do you want? What do you have to tell me?" she asked, finally over- ruling her heart for the moment.  
  
Tara looked into Willow's expressive green eyes and saw fear and anguish. "I... I wanted to let you kn-know, it's okay."  
  
Willow looked confused, "What's okay?"  
  
"You-you and Kennedy."  
  
Willow felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach.  
  
"I mean... I kno-know I didn't expect you to wa-wait. I want you to be happy, Will. If... if she helps you... If she makes you feel as if you can live again... it doesn't mean you've forgotten me. Or that you ever will."  
  
It was no use going over what-ifs anymore. Things would not - could not change, she was gone and if time had showed her anything it was this - she and Willow would be together again. Until then, she shoved aside whatever resentment she might have felt toward Kennedy's being with Willow now, and focused on Willow's happiness instead.  
  
Willow sank to her knees. Her mind had decided that this seemed like the perfect time to shut down for a second or two... or thirty.  
  
"Will?"  
  
It wasn't supposed to be this way. She was only going to tell her baby that it was okay and that she still loved her. Willow wasn't supposed to be on her knees.  
  
"I... I... didn't... wa-want," Willow was barely able to speak.  
  
Unable to sit passively by any longer, Tara got up from the bench and slowly walked towards Willow. "You have to believe me when I say this Willow, I understand, honestly I do," she said as she sank to her knees next to the redhead.  
  
"Do... do you still love me? Even after what I did?" Willow asked, fearing the answer as her eyes filled with tears.  
  
"Always," Tara replied quickly. Reaching out, she cupped Willow's face and caressed her cheek, "You once told me something... something I couldn't respond to, but I-I knew it was true. It's as true now as it was when you first said it."  
  
"Wh-what?"  
  
"You're my girl... my always. And I wouldn't want it any other way."  
  
"Oh Goddess," Willow gasped as the memories of the time she'd spoken those words came rushing back to her.  
  
"I heard you Sweetie... I heard you," Tara whispered as she found herself suddenly holding onto Willow as the redhead flung her arms around her body. Tara closed her eyes and relished the sensation of Willow's arms - her body once more pressed against hers. She reached up and slid her fingers through the copper strands. Tara felt Willow's arms tighten and she could not resist the temptation, she pulled back slowly - looking into Willow's tearful eyes - she cupped her cheeks, wiping at the tears with her thumbs and brought her closer.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Willow ached when Tara pulled away, "Tara?" she sniffled.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"We will be together again Willow... I promise."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
She knew as soon as those words passed Tara's lips, that something was going to happen. When she felt Tara's mouth on hers, Willow was engulfed by memories - their first kiss - the first time they made love - their first everything.  
  
Willow was awe-struck...  
  
She was in love...  
  
And she was loved - still.  
  
As they continued to kiss, images, events Willow knew nothing about rushed passed her eyes. She could see Tara watching over her as she breathed her last breath with the people she loved all around her.  
  
"Children?" Willow uttered as she broke away.  
  
Tara simply nodded and smiled.  
  
"We? Us... parents? How? When...?"  
  
"Shh... it's okay Will. It's not going to happen for a long time."  
  
"But... but..."  
  
"Shh..." Tara said as she continued to caress Willow's face. "I love you - they - Alex and Anne - they love you as well."  
  
"A boy and a girl?"  
  
Tara wanted to tell her all about their children, everything... but looking up quickly, she noticed the position of the moon had changed. They had been out here quite some time. "Sweetie... I have to go."  
  
"NO!!"  
  
"I have to."  
  
"Then, I'm coming with you!" Willow shouted. There was no way on heaven or the Hellmouth she was going to lose Tara again.  
  
Tara felt a cold grip of fear around her heart. She knew what was in Willow's mind at that very moment, and it terrified her. "Absolutely not!"  
  
"But..."  
  
Tara gripped the redhead's trembling shoulders. "Listen to me! Willow, you have to stay here. It's not your time... I promise you..." She touched their brows together. "...we will see each other again. But you have to stay here. You have to live."  
  
"Don't leave me again... please," Willow begged.  
  
"Oh Willow... I'll never leave you... never."  
  
Tara brought their lips together once more, only this time there was a surge of energy which made her tingle. Willow's eyelids fluttered closed and she slumped to the ground. Brushing the hair from her beloved's face, the blonde called for Buffy.  
  
The Slayer looked worried as she approached them. "It's done?"  
  
Tara nodded. "She needs to get inside and stay warm."  
  
Buffy easily swept the redhead's unconscious body up into her arms. "Is she going to be okay?"  
  
"She'll be fine."  
  
"What's going to happen?" Buffy looked at Tara before turning back and gazing into Willow's face.  
  
"She'll remember this - up to a certain point," Tara replied as they walked back to the house.  
  
Buffy had been surprised and instantly on guard when Tara came to her earlier in the evening, she hadn't recognized her. She knew right away that it wasn't a trick - she could feel it and knew she'd do anything she could to help. She thought back to the conversation they'd had earlier - the reason she'd been waiting for Tara's signal.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"I'll need your help later," Tara had said.  
  
"Why?" she replied.  
  
"I'm going to take something from her."  
  
"Wadda mean - you're going to take something from her?"  
  
"I'm going to give her the future Buffy. our future - everything."  
  
"And what's so wrong with that?"  
  
"I... I don't want her to do something. reckless."  
  
"Oh." Buffy understood.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"What about Kennedy?" Buffy asked as they reached the back door.  
  
Tara sighed softly, "I can't answer that. I wasn't here for her," she said as she kept her eyes on Willow.  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"I... I'm done... for now. They'll be okay, she knows I love her and it's all right."  
  
"Will we see you again?"  
  
Tara shook her head, "No. But that doesn't mean I won't be here."  
  
"It... it was nice to see you again Tara," Buffy whispered.  
  
Tara smiled, "You too Buffy. Kiss Dawnie for me? Tell everyone else hi?"  
  
Buffy simply nodded, unable to get any words passed her throat.  
  
Reaching out one last time, Tara caressed Willow's face, "I love you Sweetie."  
  
Buffy blinked...  
  
Tara was gone.  
  
Giving up the fight to keep her tears back, Buffy let them fall. Turning around she entered the house, kicking the door closed. She walked through the kitchen and headed up to her bedroom. She sensed that whatever was affecting Willow would not last much longer. Walking into her room, Buffy went to the bed, gently placed Willow on it, sat down next to her best friend and waited.  
  
She had a feeling Willow would be in the mood to talk.  
  
It had been almost a year since Buffy had had her conversation with Tara in the park and she'd given up the possibility that the blonde Wiccan would return.  
  
But she had.  
  
Of course it took some explaining on Tara's part as to why she looked the way she did - Buffy still couldn't quite understand it.  
  
Tara had gone on to say that in the heavenly dimension - the plain of existence where she resided, she and Willow were living the life they were destined to have had. That's why she appeared the way she did.  
  
Time moved differently - although she had actually gone back in time to see Willow, her age had changed. She was no longer twenty - she was the ripe old age of seventy.  
  
"So when you go back - Willow's all ready there?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh-kay."  
  
She still didn't get it.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"Tara..."  
  
"Here we go," Buffy whispered.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"How ya doin' Will?"  
  
"Tara?" she asked as she looked around quickly. "Was I dreaming?"  
  
"No," Buffy shook her head. "No dream."  
  
"She was here?" Willow's voice cracked.  
  
"Yeah... how are you feeling?"  
  
"She was here," she said softly. "Confused... but strangely enough... lighter? somehow."  
  
Buffy knew the feeling rather well. After her initial talk with Tara - she remembered running back to the house and holding on to both Giles and Dawn telling them that she loved them both. She felt drained and as Willow had said, lighter. Her burden - her secret anguish - how she felt ultimately responsible for Tara's death, how her war with Jonathan, Andrew and Warren - had killed Tara as surely as if she had pulled the trigger herself, had been lifted.  
  
"I know what you mean."  
  
"She was here Buffy," Willow said once more as tears cascaded down her cheeks.  
  
Buffy placed an arm around Willow's shoulders and brought her closer.  
  
Willow took the opportunity and let all the tears she hadn't cried - the ones she'd locked away - finally fall.  
  
Buffy looked up suddenly and saw Kennedy standing in the doorway. 'Give her some time,' she mouthed.  
  
Kennedy wanted nothing more than to go after whatever had made her girlfriend cry and knew there was nothing she could do. A part of her hurt - hurt because the redhead could not turn to her for comfort. It had taken Willow long enough to acknowledge her attraction to her, let alone anything else.  
  
Nodding once, Kennedy turned around and went back to their room. She knew Willow would come back and she'd make sure to do what she could to help - even if it was pretending to be asleep. Just as she had when Willow left earlier.  
  
As she slipped under the blankets, Kennedy thought about Tara. She'd seen a picture of the love of Willow's life before, she had seen the light that shone from inside. She knew then, that she would never come close to what Tara meant - still means - to Willow. She accepted it - although she always held out hope that perhaps one day - Willow might feel something - anything for her.  
  
"You're one tough act to follow," she said out loud, closing her eyes, feigning sleep.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"She... Tara knows about Kennedy," Willow said suddenly.  
  
"And?"  
  
"She... she said she understood... that she loves me... and-and it's okay."  
  
Buffy smiled briefly - in the short time Tara had been with them, Buffy could see her doing just this. Not only letting Willow know that she still loved her - but basically giving the green light to keep living. Something Willow hadn't done, not really. Buffy smiled to herself as the words: "Going through the motions" popped up. That's what her best friend had been doing - regardless of the tentative steps she'd taken with Kennedy.  
  
And Buffy hoped that she'd still be around when Willow - her Willow - finally reappeared.  
  
"That's great Will... that's really great," she replied, silently adding, 'Thank you Tara.'  
  
"You're welcome Buffy," Tara silently acknowledged as she walked out of the room unnoticed.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Tara made her way to Willow's bedroom, knowing full well it wouldn't be empty. She had lied to Buffy. She had one more stop to make before she left.  
  
"I know you're awake," she said to the figure on the bed, huddled under the covers. "And I know you can hear me."  
  
Kennedy's voice rang out, though she didn't move. "And?"  
  
"I have two things to say to you."  
  
Kennedy sat up. "Only two?" She looked at the blonde.  
  
It was her... it was Tara.  
  
"One, no one messes with my girl."  
  
The brunette felt some resentment at this. "Hey!"  
  
"I know you care for Willow. And I-I want to thank you for looking after her. But if you ever do anything to hurt her, I swear..."  
  
"What's the other thing you have to tell me?" she interrupted. Even with everything she had seen and done since coming to Sunnydale, Kennedy couldn't believe it. The ghost of her girlfriend was warning her.  
  
Tara smiled. She knew it wouldn't make much sense to the Potential, but it would to Willow and that was what mattered. "Ask Willow about vague disclaimers."  
  
"What?" Kennedy shook her head. "What does that..." The blonde was gone. "...mean?"  
  
"Kennedy... are you all right?" Willow asked as she entered the room. She could have sworn she heard two voices.  
  
"Yeah... I'm fine. Hey, Willow... what do you know about vague disclaimers?"  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"Did you see her... me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And?"  
  
"You know how it went," Tara replied as she sat down next to Willow - her always.  
  
"Yeah, I do. Just thought I'd ask," Willow answered taking Tara's hand in hers. "I love you," she said as she watched Tara look out to the expanse of their front yard - grandchildren playing all around. Willow smiled as the years melted off Tara's body - in her eyes Tara would always be as young as the day they met.  
  
"You're a charmer," she replied. She turned briefly and looked into Willow's sparkling eyes, she too saw Willow as a young woman - to every one else, they appeared to be in their seventies. "I love you too - always," she gave Willow's hand a gentle squeeze. "Dawn!! You be careful!" she called out.  
  
"Yes Panma," the three year old answered.  
  
"Panma," Willow chuckled. "Do you think she'll ever say Grandma?"  
  
"Hope not. I kinda like it," she smiled.  
  
"Me too."  
  
The End. 


End file.
